W4D1 - Letting go of Control

It's amazing after a day off, you think, "I'm going to go to bed so early and get tons of sleep before I have to go back to school." WRONG, that's not what happens at all. I also had a rehearsal last night, so that changed things a little bit. I got to bed around 1, and then 6 rolled around way to soon. I am amazed at how I can wake up without my alarm, the human body is astounding. That is another nugget of knowledge I have discovered through this whole becoming and Opera business, the human body is capably of so much more than we think. It's an outrageous machine created to function in so many different ways. Brilliant, whoever created these beings...two thumbs way way up...hahaha (that was a joke)! But seriously, high five's for sure!

Week 4, wowsa, we passed the half way point and are beginning to start our descent into the last 3 weeks of the program. I can't believe how fast it's gone, yet at the same time, it feels like ages ago when I wrote my first blog entry. So much has happened in the last 3 weeks. YIKES!!

Today was a mixed day. I'm just going to say it straight up. Yoga was good, always a great way to start the day. Then morning inspiration had to deal with letting go of control. (the problem with writing this blog, is that sometimes I can't even remember what happened in morning inspiration, it feels like it was a week ago already) There was more to what Kim said this morning, but it escapes me right now. Next was Dance class, in which we did a choreographed number, with partners, to the West Side Story gym scene. It was an absolute blast dancing with Emma! I could have danced all morning. Then at 10:45 we had an acting session with Kim. I find these sessions to be quite valuable for the future of my professional career (and it's not to say this is more important than dance class, however, in this acting class, Kim makes a big effort to prepare a solid tool box of technique to take with you after you leave the program - it's all very practical)

Today we walked into class and she said we all had 5 minutes to warm up for a show (like Romeo and Juliet, or Beatrice and Benedict) What would we do in 5 minutes in order to sing well at 11 o clock. I found myself able to warm up, and try new things, but in the end I realized that I was still pushing my body to make a huge sound. When I am around a bunch of opera singers, I feel the need to match there volume. I have to come to terms with the fact that my voice is not going to be like anyone Else's, and...IT IS WHAT IT IS, RIGHT NOW!!! Again, that is my goal of this whole escapade, to fully accept my voice and trust it. It's a very scary thing to let go and just trust that the sound will come out right. Alot of my university years were spent manipulating my voice to be a certain way to fit what I thought it needed to be. Enough is enough, i want MY voice to shine now! This acting class, in which we have learned new ways to warm up, has made me realized how much I still don't want to let go of the control I have over my voice. I find that because I want this all so bad (and by this I mean, I want to perform, and take it all in, and absorb everything, live everything in the moment, trust my self, and be the amazing person that I know lives inside me somewhere) that my excitement gets in the way...in other words, I get in my own way. Another overarching theme of this whole experience is PATIENCE. I started to learn a lot about that at CMU too, but it just keeps comin back! So it must be important. When you want sometime so bad, it's extremely hard to just let it happen.

(oh Morning inspiration just came to me...It was also about creating little goals for everything you do. And not just random goals, but specific goals. When you enter a practice room, have a goal in mind, and it can't just be that you want to practice for two hours. The more specific you think about something, the more it will come true. This may sound strange, but it all come back to the law of attraction. If you a very specific about what you want, you will be sending out waves that you want it, and someone will pick up on it and either help you or guide you. I know you all probably think I'm crazy, LOONY JUSTIN, but i dare you to think about this further. Life is not just a bunch of coincidences, everything happens for a reason.)

Anyways enough of that for now. The rest of the day was up and down. Emotions were all over the place. In the afternoon we had a musical rehearsal for Beatrice and Benedict, and my voice was off in lala land, so that didn't feel so great. Then we had two run through's tonight, which went really good. In the evening I was in a great mood, and the shows were great. I'm very excited for an audience, and costumes, oh and tomorrow we get a zits rehearsal with the orchestra. It's going to be delightful.

Okay folks, time for bed!

Over and Out!!