W4D3 - The Glaze

Okay folks, I just wrote my longest post ever and lost it all!! AHHHH, now what the heck is that trying to tell me. I Do not know! How is that serving me. It was just a good entry, full of so many good things to remember. I will try to summarize it in the next 5 minutes!

1. Coby is in London, and saw Lion King, and now has fallen in love with Opera. He saw Bizet's "The Pearl Fishers" and tomorrow is going to Puccini's "Tosca"

2. Started the day off with Yoga

3. Acting class with Kim in which we each told 2 story's to the class, one of them being true and the other false, and we had to guess which one was which

4. I had a coaching with Laura and Kerry. Laura made the following observations

4a. I sing with a glaze over my eyes, meaning that I don't actually think about what I'm saying. Or I maybe think about the words, but I don't think about what they are saying or what they mean. To me singing has always been about learning the notes perfectly, sounding perfect, and memorizing the text. But it is so much more than that. It's about communicating, that is our top priority. It's not like I don't communicate with people when I sing, but I do create this glaze that doesn't allow the audience to authentically soak up all that I am expressing.
4b. When i say words, I think about images, but instead of those images being played in a theatre in the back of my head, they are being played in front of me. WRONG, that is what creates the glaze.
4c. I have realized that this glaze and covered performance stems all the way back to Junior high when I started to cover up a part of me that was very special. My sexuality. The irony of it all, is that the only way I can truly connect on stage is by using my real heart, even the gay part of my heart. It's funny when it's said that way, but it's actually very true. I had been putting layer upon layer on that ugly part of my heart and soul. t-shirts, sweaters, collared shirts, jackets, and even Parka's. Coming out that I am gay wasn't even taking off a layer, it was unzipping the hood so I could at least breath. I am only now starting to take off layers. I thing I need to remember is that even though the layers are coming off, the bad habits are still there. So even though i want to communicate with my heart, and I'm not longer afraid to try, I still high auto pilot and the glaze takes over.
4d. What is important about these summer programs is not about all these mind blowing experiences and highs. It's about the fact that you had to let go of control in order to feel them. In summer programs you are often bombarded with tons of information, and you constantly have mind blowing experiences. It's impossible to try and apply all these new concepts every time you sing. What's more important about these mind blowing concepts is the fact that you had to let go of control in over to experience these new ideas. I always want to be in control, but it is quite the opposite that grants many rewards. When you let go, things start to happen. But part of letting go, is undoing many of the bad habits that help us get in our own way.

5. Beatrice and Benedict is opening tomorrow night. Yahoo!!!!

6. Parents and Lorne and Lill are coming, so Sweet!!

7. Now it's bed time!

Over and out:)