W2D5 - Opening up

Once again, it's too late already. But it's habit for me to blog, I need too! I don't feel like I can go to bed until I do. It's like my chance to unload my brain, so that tomorrow I can take more in. Tomorrow is going to be a full day again, and then i sing in the masterclass series in the evening. I'm a little nervous for that, but as Carol said, "I'm just going to turn the corner and say yes." Be open, say yes. After my Alexandre Tech. episode, I have been trying to be really open to everything. Let myself feel exactly what I want to feel. Today in Alexandre Tech, Michaela said that she noticed a change in me, that I was walking taller and more confidently. And you know, I was feelin great in that class. It is amazing what someone says can do to your emotions and mood. After some observations, I notice that I am much more aware of my breath after my lesson with Jackie. I'm no longer breathing from my belly, but rather breathing into my lungs, which then widens the ribs, creating a nice open space for sound to resonate!
I have even noticed a change in my speaking voice. I get a buzzing feelin in my chest and head. It almost feels as though I'm finally using my whole vocal folds/chords. When I breath into my ribs, all of a sudden everything underneath me falls into place. I no longer feel like my abs are tensing up. My bum doesn't stick out, or go under, it's not tense either, it just sits there. My back opens up, and releases. Things are changing, and I think all the movement and opening up, is creating some vocal fatigue.

Today during our Beatrice and Benedict rehearsal we were going over dialogue, and I finally used my own voice. I was under no ones criteria, but my own. I was listening to what Rob had to say. I would say a line once, and then he would ask for it a little bit differently. I told myself, "just keep being open and say yes" and I could actually go to the place he wanted me to go to! It was scary, but felt amazing. It's this strange idea that when you finally get something right, you want to hold onto it, because you think it's going to fly away, or something. When in reality, that thing is you, and no one can take it away from you. It was always there, you just didn't know how to access it. And if you can access it once, you can access it again. It cannot be forced. Today I let go of the reigns, and let me right and left brain work together. I cannot wait to do more dialogue and to keep practicing my own voice. Rob is a fantastic director and just knows how to make you feel comfortable enough to just try everything. It is exactly what I needed in order to discover something that was already living inside me. Even when I just talk normally, I feel like I have a different voice. It resonates in my whole body. AHHHHH!!

It was a good day, after our R and J rehearsal, a friend named Michael S. helped me with my french diction, which needs some work. As an English speaker, my vowels are incredibly lazy, which does not work with French vowels. The more specific the better, when it comes to French. When you think you are using your lips, try again and really melt your lips around the vowels. A good exercise is to read your songs poetically, and only say the lipped vowels, seeing how much your lips change for each one. It's basically all muscle memory in your lips that allows you to speak really good French.

During creative process we were asked to imagine that Carol had a magical wand, and that she could grant us anything we wanted for one whole year. In other words, we were asked to plan out the dream year of our lives. No limits, at all. It was crazy. The lists were crazy, but at the same time, not all were impossible. She then asked us to look at our lists and circle the things that we have control over. There were obviously a lot of things we aren't in control of, but then you have to think of creative ways to work with those things that you don't control. Every ones dreams were very different, even in a group of people that are all striving to be performers. Everyone has different priorities, and the reason I love NUOVA, is because nothing is wrong. Your answers are never wrong, they may not be the best answers, but they are not wrong. According to Kim, "in order to get anywhere, you have to correct, and then continue, correct and then continue." We are all going to make mistakes over and over and over again, but we must remember that those things happen for a reason, and are always good life lessons. Making a correction and then continue on. If you want something, you have to be a courageous person. There are going to be a lot of people in life that tell you you can't do it, but they aren't you. You are you!!!

I'm learning more and more about following my instincts. Which again brings me back to the idea that the way you do one thing, is the way you do everything. So, every time I take too long making a decision, I walk away, and come back to the situation and go with my gut. I have to get used to following my instincts, because when the decision is a big one, you have to be able to trust your gut instinct!

Today I was tired, but felt good, and I can't wait to see what is in store for tomorrow. First I will be having a great sleep.

This is Justin Friesen, signing off!

Over and Out!!