The Last Post from Menno and Lee's

Well Kids, that's all she wrote.

I have officially learned how to be an opera singer in exactly 6 weeks. Anyone else a little exhausted...

There is little I can say write right now in attemps to summing up my experience. I will rather take this time to say goodbye.

To Kim, you are my tipping point!!

To the faculty and staff, you are my accountability, and support and love

To my fellow peers, you are my friends with whom I have built relationships of love, honesty, trust, respect, encouragement, peace and more love!

To Billy (my car), you are my wheels

To my family, you are my past, present and future

To Menno and Lee, you are my grounding and reason I could survive this amazing program. Your listening ears and giving hearts made this place home for me!

To the Universe, you are...

...rocking my world!


Over and Out!!

W6D1 - The R and J Spectacle

Tingles...I still get tingles when I think about last nights opening show of Romeo and Juliet. If anyone reading this ever gets the opportunity to see Gounod's Romeo and Juliet, don't you dare pass it up. You will never regret it. Gounod sets Shakespeare's timeless classic to a french style of music that will take your breath away, almost quite literally. The staging and blocking that Michael has done as well as the work with colours and costumes has taken this story to an entirely new level. It is beyond Leo and Clare on the Hollywood screen. I would go as far to say, and my judgement is a little naive, only because I have only really been slashing in the shallow end of the opera world. However, I would go as far to say that this version, here at NUOVA, is beyond what the world stage could create. The story of R and J is of young lovers. Somewhere between 13 and 16. So the fact that it is being played by young growing artists, gives it an entirely different feel. The emotion is raw, real, and reveals so much about the youthfulness of the story.

I had a significant musical experience at the end of act 3, before intermission. We are all staring each other down, Montegue's vs. Capulet's, walking backwards as we stare at each other basically screaming the words of the song towards each other like fire arrows. I couldn't physical feel anyone, we weren't actually fighting, but the energy around us was fuming with anger. The sparks were flying, and no one was actually fighting. Our connection was so strong, that I could feel my whole body tingling as I left the stage. Every cell was buzzing with energy and shooting it across the stage. It was something I have never experience in such high magnitude. WOWSA!

So if you ever get the chance, go see Romeo and Juliet at the Opera, you will never look back!!

OVER AND OUT!

Day off/Not a day off

Today was not a day off, because we had Falstaff run throughs all day. Mind you, we did get to sleep in, which was delightful, but it wasn't a day off. The run throughs got better each time, which was very nice to see. I am apart of the chorus and although we don't do much, shows would not be nearly as complete withouth a good chorus. It was exactly the same in Beatrice and Benedict. We are only on for one scene but the added human presense on stage is what makes a show complete.

I am very excited to start running the shows infront of an audience. Tomorrow night is our first Romeo and Juliet show, and I can't wait for an audience to witness the brilliancy of Michael's work through us on stage. It is going to be breathtaking. AHHH, i am getting tingles just thinking about it.
I don't really have much more to add to that today. It was more of a summary today, not much to reflect on. My mind is still trying to keep soaking everything up until the program is over. It's hard to believe that in a week I will be home. I am certainly going to miss everything. But first lets get the show on the road. Toi Toi Toi everyone. CHeers

Over and Out!

W5D6 - Inconsistent masculinity and femininity

Hey folks,

Sorry this blogging things has been a Little inconsistent in the last week. We are in production week now and everything gets a little screwed up. Every day is very long, and it's starting to feel like the program is actually coming to an end. I'm not sure I'm ready to leave yet, but at the same time, I am ready to present these shows to the world, and then have a little break.

My goal for these runs are to really work on connection. Following my instincts on stage, while also reading the energy given by other people. We have done some A Tech class on the the space around our bodies. When someone enters your space your energy changes. The energy connection can be very beneficial on stage.

I also want to let my left brain just remember what to do, and not be judging my every move on stage. That's enough LEFT BRAIN, it's time to take a break from judging everything I do. Through the other NUOVAites i have been informed that I look very masculine on stage - something that I have been very conscience of my whole life. I have always been worried that I would read too feminine. Once again, just getting in my own way. When you are confident and completely aware of yourself on stage, you could do anything, masculine or feminine, and it will read well. It's not about it being masculine or feminine, it's about committing to whatever choice you make. Don't think, just react!

And that is my food for thought in the last few days! Until next time:)

Over and Out

W5D4 & 5 - Collecting Information

It's hard to believe that a week ago we were putting on Beatrice and Benedict. It feels more like a year ago, to be honest. I am so amazed at how much happens in one week. 7 days, that's it, but it's just packed full of stuff. Friday was a full day of Romeo and Juliet. It was our tech dress rehearsal, and I have to say, it is all coming together quite smoothly. Everything feels great. I still have some memorizing to get done for the chorus parts, but otherwise, everyone is doing amazing. The leads are absoluetly fantastic. I wish you all could come see it. The story of Romeo and Juliet is classic, and timeless. It seriously gets me everytime. I can't even imagine going through what they went through. It's the ultimate love story, and you start to realize that this story of star crossed lovers is all around us. Movies use this plot all the time. It's just that good. We never get sick of watching the passions of true love. Love in which you would die for the other person. Love that goes beyond all evil. It's absolutely beautiful. And, Charles Gounod, the composer, wrote some of the most stunning opera music I have ever heard. His themes are breathtaking. Every theme is like sunshine, awww, I get tingles just thinking about it. And when you add the orchestra, it's as if the world has stopped for a moment in time, and you are totally in the now. NO WHERE ELSE, just here!

Because the schedule has been different this week, I have had more time to process the last 4 works. Or at least to start the process of processing. (if that makes any sense) The voice teachers are gone, and there are not more acting or dance classes, it's just tech rehearsals for the opera's. It is still really busy, and long days, but the pace is different. It's almost helping to prepare us to rejoin the real world. Life has still been going on outside our bubble, and somehow we are going to have to pop the bubble of NUOVA. It's been amazing, but our time is coming to a close. IT's completely bittersweet. I don't want it to end, but at the same time, I need a break. I love the process, but i also need some time to live with this new understanding of myself. There has been some major self development going on in the last 4 weeks, and I am genuinly interested to see how I reenter normality. Because what I have been living in, is anything but normal. However, I feel completely blessed that I have been able to embark on this journey. So much more awareness of myself. Awareness is not the first step, AWARENESS IS THE CHANGE. Once you are aware of something, it is already starting to change. Becuase i am more aware of myself i am constantly changing and settling, and changing and settling. Nothing is constant. And when things are changing, you can't judge it. You CANNOT judge while you are trying something. You can judge yourself, or analyse yourself, after you have tried something, or after something has changed. The left brain should not be involved in trying something new, or following your instincts. As Kim has said many time, "TRY, CORRECT, AND CONTINUE, CORRECT AND CONTINUE" If you are judging yourself while you try something, you will not be able to fully engage in the potential of this new thing, and in the end you will never know this things full potential. (TOO many potentials) I hope that was as clear as murky water.

Lots more to talk about, but now it's time for a good sleep.

Over and out!!

W5D3 - The Adventures of K A J

Here is my attempt to accurately describe, in words, what the last 12 hours of my life has been like.

BALKDA B:ALKBENEWOB A:LAKSNBQW:
OQW B:LAKSNB:OQWNB:LQWJ:ALAHHHHHFFFFFF
FFFFKKKKKKKKKDDDDDDDDD:::SJJJJ!

I stayed over at Kate's apartment yesterday and at 2:30 in the morning she started having an allergic reaction. Alex and I took her to the emergency room, and we ended up staying there from 4 till 7:30. So far, NO sleep for Justin, Alex or Kate. Then Kate and I went to me our Nuovites who had been called at 6:30 in the morning for another edition of Breakfast Television. Once again, didn't got to bed, I went and got changed and performed on Breakfast television in a Romeo and Juliet men's scene. Finally, at around 10 o clock, I went to Kate's room and slept till 12:30. At this time I was called to Romeo and Juliet rehearsals all afternoon, followed by a Falstaff chorus rehearsal. Then, I had a few minutes to eat some supper, and make my way to the Zits Orchestra Rehearsal for Romeo and Juliet, which finished at around 10. It's been an amazingly long day. Kate is doing well, and that is really all that matters. and as much as I would have liked to sleep even just a bit last night, the experience of going to the hospital, and then later attending a full day in the life of NUOVA was priceless. It was kind of a test to see if I could get through the day. I was surprised how much energy i had stored up for those crazy days.

Not much more to say today. During the Orchestra run, I felt like I was getting a lot of resonantes in my voice. It didn't feel as contrived, rather more natural and free. It's a slow process, but every like make adds in a whole new layer!

OVER AND OUT!

W5D2 - Step by Step

Today was another busy day here at NUOVA. However, it did get to start a little later than usual. We only had to be there at 11 o clock today, which was amazing, because I got to sleep in till 7:30. Imagine that, 7:30, now that's called sleeping in. I woke up and made myself the best yogurt combination, muesli, and ate it on the deck with the sun streaming on my face. I brought the phone with me, and called my dear friends Rachel, Heather, and Megan, who are working at camp. It was really nice to chat with friends from my other world. Strange to say other world, but at this point, it feels like I have 2 lives. NUOVA and REALITY. Or it's kind of like work and personal life.

Most of the day was filled with Romeo and Juliet runthrough's. Which are starting to feel much more smooth. I love when the whole story starts to make sense.

Another thing I keep realizing is how important language is. I spent the evening with Kate and Julia, and after going out for a lovely coffee date, we came back to Kate's room and started taking apart the R and J text. I have never fully understood, until now, how crucial it is to know what you are talking about. I mean it seems obvious, but I've never really done it. I've never experienced it. AHHHH, it's continuing to blow my mind. We took the opening prologue dialogue and read the literal translation (from French to English) and then they asked me to put it into my own words, as if I was telling a story. It was a completely eye opening experience. I will never learn a piece the same way again. And this experience makes me want to know how to speak many languages. I don't know if you all know the story of R and J, but I am going to give you a translation of the opening prologue.

"In the city of Verona, there once were two rival families. The Montague's and Capulet's. This endless war caused much blood to be spilled over the steps of each families castles. Like a shining light, piercing the stormy cloud, Juliet appeared, and Romeo loved her. And forgetting to hate each others names, they were inflamed with the same love for each other. But, cruel fate, and blind hate, they paid for there love in numbered days. Through this tragedy birthed love between the families."

There you go folks, that's the story of Romeo and Juliet in a nutshell, and now I actually understand what the heck I'm staying in the chorus in the prologue. Now it will be much easier to start memorizing the French because I can actually tell a story, and communicate something to the audience.

Tonight was the English Song Soriee night, in which I sang Barber's Opus 45. It went so much better than I thought it was going to go. I felt open and myself onstage, and that was affirmed in the comments I received afterwards. It felt really good to give an honest performance, holding nothing back, and living in the moment. These are the step by step moments. I have to remember that I'm not all of a sudden going to change, and everything will just work. It's a process, and I have to love where I am right now, and use it to be awesome. It sounds selfish, but we could all do a little better at being awesome. We all have it in us to be better! Why not try?

Lastly, I want to make one more comment about sports and performance. Never have they be so connected in my mind. After seeing a Baseball game on Monday night, I have craving sports. I crave the intensity, the physicality, the anticipation, the emotion, the rawness, the roughness, the right and left brain thinking in harmony, the not thinking, and just doing, the constant changing, the sweat, the collaboration, the beauty of being totally in the moment! I want it now. And never has it been more clear that all of these things exist in opera and performance; they have too. I have to just figure out how to apply these things that I already do instinctively in sports to my performing! Let the process continue!!

Time for bed,

Over and Out!

W5D1 - R and J Tech Day

Today we made our way into the Timms theatre to run our first tech rehearsal of Romeo and Juliet. I went in prepared for a long day. We didn't get through both casts fully, but 2/3rd of each is up and ready to repeat and repeat. I really don't mind the tech rehearsals. They make the show feel like an actual show. Everything finally comes together and you have a much bigger understanding of the show. Furthermore you begin to put together the way in which the show is being presented, from the directors point of view. It was quite fun, but also long. I love how Michael as incorporated the chorus in so much of the opera, it's brilliant.

In the morning I had a lesson with Stewart. It didn't start off to well on my part. I was having trouble finding my sweet 360 sound. It would come in and out. (which is, I guess, the essence of what a baritone voice at 22 is all about) you just have to be patient! Not an easy thing for me. What is also frustrating is that I know how to manufacture and sound that I think works, but in reality, it sounds way different outside of my head. I just can't hear it because I'm no preoccupied with how it sounds in my head. What helped me start to find the spot was to sing on CAT. Working on connecting the voices and pitches, while keeping the soft pallet up. SO much to think about, yet it's not really that difficult. I have to remember that we aren't building a spaceship to the moon, we are singing. Singing should not be hard, it should be effortless. I also have to really watch out for nasal sound quality. It tends to then get trapped in my nose.

In the afternoon Kerry and I had a Song Soiree rehearsal in the Con Hall. It actually went better than I thought. I have three things to remember about the Barber pieces that I will be before tomorrow night.

1. Now have I fed and eaten up the Rose - excited to tell someone about the secret to life

2. A Green Lowland of Pianos - like telling a bunch of children a Dr. Seuss story

3. O Boundless, Boundless Evening - Sing it like I'm Frank Sinatra.

What's the lesson here? That singing is all about communication, not the sound. The sooner I can get over myself and just let my voice be my voice, the better. Tomorrow is going to be a fantastic concert. I'm really excited to see how the PowerPoint presentations go. All my photos came from Diego's collection. Breathtaking photos!! and it means so much more when you know where they came from and who took them. I don't know the back story's to them, but they fit the slide show very nicely.

Time for Bed!!

Over and Out:)

Day off Number 4

Well it's felt like 2 weeks since our last day off, because last week I had a rehearsal all evening on my day off. Today I slept till 11:30, which was fantastic! Tonight I'm going to a BBQ at Michaels house, where I will introduce NUOVA to the best farmer sausage in the world. Thank you Dad!!

Here is my quote for my day off. Actually they are more just comments:

"Promise me you'll always remember, you're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think" _Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh

"I love and approve of myself!"

I have also found in extremely powerful to let go of things more quickly. For example, if I caught thinking about something that makes me mad, or starts flaming a negative fire, I literally tell myself to let go. and let it flow through me. It sounds ridiculous, but we as humans hold on to everything with clentching fists. It's insane. We all need to chill out and relax. Let the negative energy pass through you and out of your system. It shouldn't be about not feeling the negative energy. You must let it come into you, but then also flow out of you. Food for thought!!

Over and Out:)

W4D6 - My 360 sound

Yesterday, that would be Sunday, I had quite a wonderful day. It started off with a PowerPoint rehearsal for our English Art Song night. Everyone had such different ways of visual presenting their songs, it was brilliant. Then we had a Lunch Box Talk, which started off great, and ended not so great. By the end it turned into this do's and don'ts thing and it just made me feel like I was doing everything wrong. I know they were only trying to give us advice, but it kinda got out of hand, in my opinion. It's not a big deal, but seeing as it was the end of the 4th week, and I really needed a break, it just got to me more than it maybe would have on any other day.

After the Box Talk we had an Romeo and Juliet chorus rehearsal. I have realized that it's because of choir that I love chorus so much. Being it opera company chorus' is the best way to get experience. You don't have the pressure the leads carry, yet you get to work on a professional stage with professional singers. You learn the roles, even chorus, professionally. The experience, though it may seem insignificant, will help you grow as a young emerging singer and actor. If a show didn't have a chorus, it wouldn't work (most of the time) Even in B and B, the chorus was in 1 scene, and without them the show would have been missing something.

After R and J, I had a lesson with Stewart. I went in expecting nothing. Not because I didn't think he was good teacher, HE IS FANTASTIC! But for the last 2 weeks my voice has been in huge limbo. It's never really there. I have been trying to apply all these new things to my voice and in the process I don't even remember how to sing. So going into this lesson, I had no idea what to expect. Well folks, my mind was blown out of the water, once again. Stewart asked me to sing, and soon after realized that I wasn't using my full voice. Okay, I've heard that before, but how do I use my full voice, and not push, strain, or hurt my vocal folds. Stewart loves to think of singing as just talking. He told me to call across the road to a friend, "Hey Joe!" You would stop to think how you were going to do it, you would just do it. Singing should be the same way. You shouldn't think, how am I going to do this, you should just do it and let the voice figure it out. What helped me as to think about keeping my soft pallet up. Something that is actually extremely hard for my to do. When I come down in pitch, it falls, which is what I have to fight. Also, it helped me to think about the sound going up into the soft pallet, spinning, and up out the top of the head. When I was doing some exercises, the higher stuff started to find it's bloom. The trick then, was to try and keep that same focused sound as I came down the arpeggio.

When I finally started sing and not think about singing, the voice felt free and easy. I mean, I was still working, and engaging muscles, but the vocal folds were not feeling abused.

Stewart also helped explain to me why I have so much phlegm/mucus in my throat. When I push the sound out, it sends massive amount of hair quickly through the vocal folds, which dry them out. The vocal folds reaction to that is to produce more saliva, in order to keep the chords moist. It makes a lot of sense to me!

After the lesson I went to a coaching with Michael, and I showed them my full 360 voice. It felt amazing, and easy and free. (I really need to tap these things, so I can hear what it sounds like and compare that to how it felt)

With Stewart, the trick was that I just blasted the sound at him. NOT PUSHING, just letting the voice go where it wanted to go as it gets higher. It was kind of shouty, but you have to start somewhere. I don't really care what it sounded like, it just felt good, and it felt like I was using my whole body, rather than just my voice.
Michael helped reinforce the fact that you have to revisit your music all the time, even when you have it memorized. And it's more than just memorize notes, words, and rhythms. You pretty much have to memorize everything that it on the page. Be precise, seriously Justin, be a disciplined learner and you will go far.

Michael was wonderful, as always, to work with. His energy and intensity, slash, his ability to have fun all the time, is contagious.

That was the end of week 4. Only 2 weeks left, Oh my word on the highest mountain. The schedule changes now. We are in tech rehearsal in the Timms centre for both Falstaff and Romeo & Juliet. It's going to fly by, so hold on tight!

Over and Out:)

W4D5 - The Athlete in me!!

Tonight was the opening and closing night of the second cast of Beatrice and Benedict, in which I played the character of Claudio. It was so much fun to play a different character today with a new cast. The energy was very different. No cast was better, and that was the best part, they were just both different! I had such a good time on stage, and the audience was wonderful.
A huge shout out to my family that came (Dad, Mom, Lorne and Lill) and also to my dear friends Megan, Heather and Rachel. That made it to special to have them all there. Thank you all for coming:) I love you!

I apologize for the short entry again. I have to get more sleep these days. Basically I want to capitalize and underline the fact that I am an athlete. It's more of a reminder for me when i read this later. Today I realized how similar sports and performance is. I mean, I've always seen many connections, but I never realized how differently I prepare for them, and that is where I'm going all wrong. The the discipline, passion, drive, determination, energy, mental preparation, mental through process, and precision with which I prepare for a track race, or volleyball game, is the way I should be learning music, and practicing and performing on stage. It's committed, 100 percent. It's all layed out on the court, or track. I'm not ashamed of anything, and everything I do on the track/court flows through me. It happens and I just let it go. Whether it was good of bad, let it go!!

I am going to apply these same techniques to performance, it only makes sense:)

That's all for today. Justin, you know what to do, so get out of your own way, and let it happen! Take some chances (Celine reference!!)

"Promise me you'll remember, you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think" - From Christopher Robin to Winnie and Pooh!

Over and Out!

W4D4 - B and B opening night!!

It's going to be a quick one tonight. I was up chatting with my parents, Menno and Lee, and my auntie Lill and Uncle Lorne. To summarize my day:

Yoga

Dance - we choreographed a number to Footloose, which was so much fun!

Song Soiree lesson with Shannon Hiebert - It was a very informative session. I'm realizing more and more how much I don't know, and I don't say that in a negative way. It's just amazing how much deeper you can go. Like I said in a previous blog post, when I used to learn music, all I did was learn the right notes, rhythms, memorize the words, and add some emotion. Singing is so much more than that. But it is such a habit for me, that even when someone asks me to JUST think about what you are saying when you sing, I struggle with that. It seems basic, and simple, but I'm used to being disconnected with the text. It's not like I don't feel things when I perform. I've gotten this far, so something must have been going right, but there are ways of digging much deeper, which with then allow for a completely authentic performance. I'm used to making it hard, when really it's not. Here again, text is so important. If you can communicate the words, the music is almost pointless. They go hand in hand, and more and more am I seeing that it doesn't matter is you have an amazing voice. If you can't communicate, the voice means nothing. You might be able to get by for a while, but eventually people with see through it and you are going to have to change something. Today Shannon and I were working on "Now have i fed, and eaten up the rose," by Samuel Barber, and she basically changed the entire song just by working through the poetry. When you think about communicating the truth of the piece, the singing becomes secondary and fixes it's self. We must remember that sing is just talking on pitch. You should be able to make up your own melody for each text, not that it would be the same everytime, but make the line sing itself. It is poetry, after all, meaning the poet probably heard the music of the line when he/she wrote it. Through this I understand that things that I am in control over. I may not love where my voice is at right now, but THAT IS OKAY. "I love and approve of myself." That is my new saying. (Thank you LEE) Something like the text, I can control. I can do the homework, and interpret the poetry, which will then take pressure off the voice and allow it to just bloom. It's when i stop waiting for something to change that something with happen. And it's not going to just change over night. It's slow and grooling, but it's good change!

Next I had lunch and then the Claudio version Beatrice and Benedict dress rehearsal

Had a wondering nap in the sun

Ate Supper!

Opening night of the Leonato version of Beatrice and Benedict, which went very good! It was an awesome audience! The energy was electric:)

And now it's time for bed.

Over and Out!

W4D3 - The Glaze

Okay folks, I just wrote my longest post ever and lost it all!! AHHHH, now what the heck is that trying to tell me. I Do not know! How is that serving me. It was just a good entry, full of so many good things to remember. I will try to summarize it in the next 5 minutes!

1. Coby is in London, and saw Lion King, and now has fallen in love with Opera. He saw Bizet's "The Pearl Fishers" and tomorrow is going to Puccini's "Tosca"

2. Started the day off with Yoga

3. Acting class with Kim in which we each told 2 story's to the class, one of them being true and the other false, and we had to guess which one was which

4. I had a coaching with Laura and Kerry. Laura made the following observations

4a. I sing with a glaze over my eyes, meaning that I don't actually think about what I'm saying. Or I maybe think about the words, but I don't think about what they are saying or what they mean. To me singing has always been about learning the notes perfectly, sounding perfect, and memorizing the text. But it is so much more than that. It's about communicating, that is our top priority. It's not like I don't communicate with people when I sing, but I do create this glaze that doesn't allow the audience to authentically soak up all that I am expressing.
4b. When i say words, I think about images, but instead of those images being played in a theatre in the back of my head, they are being played in front of me. WRONG, that is what creates the glaze.
4c. I have realized that this glaze and covered performance stems all the way back to Junior high when I started to cover up a part of me that was very special. My sexuality. The irony of it all, is that the only way I can truly connect on stage is by using my real heart, even the gay part of my heart. It's funny when it's said that way, but it's actually very true. I had been putting layer upon layer on that ugly part of my heart and soul. t-shirts, sweaters, collared shirts, jackets, and even Parka's. Coming out that I am gay wasn't even taking off a layer, it was unzipping the hood so I could at least breath. I am only now starting to take off layers. I thing I need to remember is that even though the layers are coming off, the bad habits are still there. So even though i want to communicate with my heart, and I'm not longer afraid to try, I still high auto pilot and the glaze takes over.
4d. What is important about these summer programs is not about all these mind blowing experiences and highs. It's about the fact that you had to let go of control in order to feel them. In summer programs you are often bombarded with tons of information, and you constantly have mind blowing experiences. It's impossible to try and apply all these new concepts every time you sing. What's more important about these mind blowing concepts is the fact that you had to let go of control in over to experience these new ideas. I always want to be in control, but it is quite the opposite that grants many rewards. When you let go, things start to happen. But part of letting go, is undoing many of the bad habits that help us get in our own way.

5. Beatrice and Benedict is opening tomorrow night. Yahoo!!!!

6. Parents and Lorne and Lill are coming, so Sweet!!

7. Now it's bed time!

Over and out:)

W4D2 - The art of Connection

There were a few different themes of the day! In morning inspiration we talked about being as efficient as possible. A lot of times we are just wasting time, on Facebook, looking into the mirror (checking outselves out for way to long - I know we all do this) I have spoken about this before, but I truely believe that when we follow our instincts, and don't try and think so much about what we should do next, we wouldn't waste so much time deciding what to do. When you have specific goals, and you just do them, things get done, but you must be efficient.

My first class this morning was acting with Michael. What I love about Michael is that we only talk for approx. 5 minutes and the beginning and then it's right into the activity we are doing. No beating around the bush, we just get right down to business. Today was all about connetion. This is perhaps one of the most important things to know about being a performer. Your number one priority is the audience. We often forget that. That is not to say the person you are on stage with isn't important - they are incredibly important - however, if the audience doesn't understand what is going on, if what we are doing on stage isn't reading right, that it's all lost. This miscommunication happens all the time in real life too. We aren't always very good listeners. It's not your line that's important, what's important is if the audience recieved the information and were able to process it. It sounds semi technical, but it's all very natural. So many times the performer is so into themselves that they are telling the audience what they are, instead of speaking to the audience and letting them drink it in and absorb it.

I care way to much about myself when I perform. I wouldn't say I am a cocky self-centered performer, that's not really what I mean. Rather, I mean that I don't listen to my fellow stage members enough, or do i make sure the audience is reading what i'm doing correctly. It's when you start caring about the audience more than yourself that memorable moments are witnessed.

So, today we did an exercise in which we partnered up and one person had to lead, and the other follow. The leader had to talk about a certain subject. (lets say fruit) So the leader speaks, and the followers plays copy cat, but without any delay. The follower has to say the words as they are coming out of the leaders mouth. It was an incredibly out of body experience, in which, when I was the follower, I had to let go of my left brain and just follow Michaels mouth and thoughts. It was awesome, and when I was leading, I really noticed how much I don't think at all about the fact that half of what i say, I say to fast. Which means that half of what I say doesn't land one anyone, know one is recieving it. It's not really about slowing down to a snails pace, it's more about looking at your scene partner, or audience, and making sure they are recieving what you are giving. This is the same for an audition panel. Your job is to make sure they recieved what you sent out. NO MATTER what happens vocally, you will have impressed them with your confiedence and groundedness. It was a great lesson to learn today. I have noticed that one of my greatest attributes is also the very thing that holds me back. My energy is usually rockin up in the clouds, and although it's all positive, I still get in my own way with the fact that I want IT so bad.

P A T I E N C E (is all I have to say)

Next i had a masterclass with Kim, and I will admit, I went in not really expecting anything. NOt becuase it was Kim, but more becuase i was tired and didn't feel like I could sing. SO many negative thoughts in one sentense. I got up to sing and it wasn't very fun. Kim then gave me the permission to try anything and it doesn't matter what happens. Her little trick/trigger, is to thinking of drinking the sound. Like a coffee with Bailey's (Grandma, are you still lovin the Bailey's!!) Thinking about this, also gives my left brain something to do, rather then analyse myself. My left brain engine is over heated everyday, and that's not the way life should be lived.

I have a few things that I have noticed so far this week:

1. I have to get out of my own way, I don't have to have the same big sound as all the other opera singers around me.

2. I have to accept my own voice

3. I must care more about the audience and them recieving what I am giving out.

4. breathing happens in the lungs, and your tummy and back move too.

5. Everything starts with the breath, all the intention is behind the breath

6. Sub text is a really effective way to develop each moment further.

7. Drink the notes, and forget about what the sound sounds like to you, just start singing by feel.

There are proabably other things too, but my eyes are starting to droop.

The rest of the day was kinda blahhhh. Romeo and Juliet was fun, and then we had a Beatrice and Benedict musical runthrough. The orchestra is brilliant, this is another reason I could never leave the opera world, I have to be able to perform with a orchestra.

Gotta get to bed, Cheers!

Over and out:)

W4D1 - Letting go of Control

It's amazing after a day off, you think, "I'm going to go to bed so early and get tons of sleep before I have to go back to school." WRONG, that's not what happens at all. I also had a rehearsal last night, so that changed things a little bit. I got to bed around 1, and then 6 rolled around way to soon. I am amazed at how I can wake up without my alarm, the human body is astounding. That is another nugget of knowledge I have discovered through this whole becoming and Opera business, the human body is capably of so much more than we think. It's an outrageous machine created to function in so many different ways. Brilliant, whoever created these beings...two thumbs way way up...hahaha (that was a joke)! But seriously, high five's for sure!

Week 4, wowsa, we passed the half way point and are beginning to start our descent into the last 3 weeks of the program. I can't believe how fast it's gone, yet at the same time, it feels like ages ago when I wrote my first blog entry. So much has happened in the last 3 weeks. YIKES!!

Today was a mixed day. I'm just going to say it straight up. Yoga was good, always a great way to start the day. Then morning inspiration had to deal with letting go of control. (the problem with writing this blog, is that sometimes I can't even remember what happened in morning inspiration, it feels like it was a week ago already) There was more to what Kim said this morning, but it escapes me right now. Next was Dance class, in which we did a choreographed number, with partners, to the West Side Story gym scene. It was an absolute blast dancing with Emma! I could have danced all morning. Then at 10:45 we had an acting session with Kim. I find these sessions to be quite valuable for the future of my professional career (and it's not to say this is more important than dance class, however, in this acting class, Kim makes a big effort to prepare a solid tool box of technique to take with you after you leave the program - it's all very practical)

Today we walked into class and she said we all had 5 minutes to warm up for a show (like Romeo and Juliet, or Beatrice and Benedict) What would we do in 5 minutes in order to sing well at 11 o clock. I found myself able to warm up, and try new things, but in the end I realized that I was still pushing my body to make a huge sound. When I am around a bunch of opera singers, I feel the need to match there volume. I have to come to terms with the fact that my voice is not going to be like anyone Else's, and...IT IS WHAT IT IS, RIGHT NOW!!! Again, that is my goal of this whole escapade, to fully accept my voice and trust it. It's a very scary thing to let go and just trust that the sound will come out right. Alot of my university years were spent manipulating my voice to be a certain way to fit what I thought it needed to be. Enough is enough, i want MY voice to shine now! This acting class, in which we have learned new ways to warm up, has made me realized how much I still don't want to let go of the control I have over my voice. I find that because I want this all so bad (and by this I mean, I want to perform, and take it all in, and absorb everything, live everything in the moment, trust my self, and be the amazing person that I know lives inside me somewhere) that my excitement gets in the way...in other words, I get in my own way. Another overarching theme of this whole experience is PATIENCE. I started to learn a lot about that at CMU too, but it just keeps comin back! So it must be important. When you want sometime so bad, it's extremely hard to just let it happen.

(oh Morning inspiration just came to me...It was also about creating little goals for everything you do. And not just random goals, but specific goals. When you enter a practice room, have a goal in mind, and it can't just be that you want to practice for two hours. The more specific you think about something, the more it will come true. This may sound strange, but it all come back to the law of attraction. If you a very specific about what you want, you will be sending out waves that you want it, and someone will pick up on it and either help you or guide you. I know you all probably think I'm crazy, LOONY JUSTIN, but i dare you to think about this further. Life is not just a bunch of coincidences, everything happens for a reason.)

Anyways enough of that for now. The rest of the day was up and down. Emotions were all over the place. In the afternoon we had a musical rehearsal for Beatrice and Benedict, and my voice was off in lala land, so that didn't feel so great. Then we had two run through's tonight, which went really good. In the evening I was in a great mood, and the shows were great. I'm very excited for an audience, and costumes, oh and tomorrow we get a zits rehearsal with the orchestra. It's going to be delightful.

Okay folks, time for bed!

Over and Out!!

Day off number 3

I am currently writing this blog entry at the Mac store in south gate mall on an I pad!! This thing is incredibly cool. These I pads are only 600 dollars, so tempting. Now it's time to shop, and then a rehearsal tonight for b and b. Cheers to the Ipad

W3D5 - Aria Extravaganza and Reese Puffs

I sit before my computer, after a long day, 1:37 in the morning, eating Reese Puffs (the most unhealthy choice) exhuasted...but I will not miss a day of blogging! It's therepudic for me to unload everything.

When I think back on the day, I feel as though there is not much to say, when in reality it was probably a really loaded day and I just don't even know where to start talking about it.

Started the day off in a mini masterclass with Steward and Kathy. Frist time working with both of them, and it was fantastic. I wasn't applying everything, but I understood what they were saying. Sometimes there are certain physical things in your body that literally stop you from doing what they are asking, and so it takes some alone time in a practice room to figure stuff out. In short, Steward talked about the importance of the intake of breath, and how the breath is essencially the beginning of the phrase. Whatever you breath in, is the intension behind the phrase you are about to sing. Then while in the phrase he said he likes to think that the line just keeps rising, no matter what the melody is. The trick is to keep thinkingb up. The reason being is because you want your soft pallet to stay up.

SOFT PALLET, now that is something I've never really understoon until today. Well at least I think i understand it now. I've never really realized that i don't have any control over my soft pallet. I've never ever once thought it was something I should consider as a reason I'm having a hard time discovering my own voice. I think that becuase my soft pallet is rarely up, that is why i constantly feel like my sound is being trapped in my throat, no matter how much I think about opening up. In the practice room today, Alex gave me an idea he got from John as a way to open the soft pallet. You have to get ready to say a "k" sound, in a whisper, but don't actually say the whole letter, just the beginning! THis thought, for me, makes something move up there, and I'm thinking it might be my soft pallet.

I'm also trying to let go of this idea that I'm somehow going to change in a day. Change takes time, and effort and patience. Seriously this whole process is a lesson in patience for me. I need to let go and just move on. Feel it, and then let it go.

I also need to learn how to channel my energy. Acting is not giving 200 percent on stage. Less is more. I have a hard time understanding that because i have engrained in my head the idea that you have to work really hard to get what you want. I know, it sounds cliche. When I don't give 200 percent, it feels like I'm not trying at all. But that is exactly what they want. It's the same with singing, singing should not be hard.

(also side note, when learning a song, learn the vowels, not the notes. Then add the melody, and you are all set! Memory will be better that way too!)

Lastly I have to type a little bit about tonights performance. The Aria Extravanganza was amazing. Everyone was brilliant. Josh, Tyler, Adam, Laurelle, Sonia, Erin, Michael, Cam, Cat, Cait, we highlights for me.

Beddie Pie,

Over and Out!

Haka - New Zealand All Blacks Rugby

W3D4 - Bear Voice

Has anyone been close enough to a bear so see it roaring at you? If you have, I almost don't want to hear about it, because that is one of the scariest things. And where am I going with this, you might ask? Well today in acting class we watched a little clip from a movie called "The Bear." There is no talking, just a man living in and amongst nature. In the scene, the bear got really mad at the man. His mouth was massive, and it was amazing to watch his commitment to every sound he/she makes.

These acting class are brilliant for singers. We have to be able to community naturally too, which is why I think Opera and Theatre are coming closer and closer together. Michael also taught us about the superhero trick. When you are singing your party piece you think about he your favourite superhero, and then concentrate on shooting the power right to end of your fingers, out and to the back of the room/hall/auditorium. For me, focusing the energy on a physical point and getting into a lower ready position, will help me forget about my voice. Also, he talked about our energy levels when we sing. Often our energy level is way to high, and that's when it gets in the way of the voice. When helps me is to have palms of my heads facing down, and really feel grounded beneath me. To sing anything properly you have to be thinking both up and down - in to the ground and up out the top of your head - it all about support. And where does the support come from, the earth!
Another piece of food for thought is the idea of triggers that help you find your support quickly. Another way to explain this is how to switch in and out of accents. With any accent you have to find a certain vowel modulation, and as soon as you get that, your mind switches onto a new track and everything comes out of your mouth with a little bit of a different swagger. This takes practice, of course! The same idea can be applied to singing. You need triggers to help you calm down and bring the energy level down. I don't mean energy level, as in awake and tired, but rather the energy level, or place on your body, where the emotion and sound is coming from. (Sometimes it's coming from your heart area, or sometimes it goes down to your waist, hips. It all depends on what you are singing. Generally, you wouldn't want your energy level too high because it then starts to interfere with the breathing, and vocal folds.) These triggers can also be extremely helpful when you need to find your character on stage. You need to find out what helps you find your character when you need it! It has to be apart of you, because you will always be part of your character. Let the trigger find you:) Sometimes it takes going way to far over the line, absolutely crazy, to realize where you want to go.

I had a little session with myself in the practice room today, and it was amazing. I basically realized that in order to be balanced as person, I have to do sports. Sports is so closely related to performance, which is why I love it. I have to find ways to do both. When I'm physical, and not just standing still, my voice changes. So often I go into a rehearsal and think I have to stand a certain way, but in reality, not many people would be opposed to me doing whatever I felt I needed to do during a first sing through. And audition can be the same way, you are singing to a dead panel of people, the room feels like it's closing in on you, sucking the energy from you, you are nervous. Use your trigger, and find that balanced energy level and captivate the room. (so often all it takes it a little bend in the knees, literally, to lower the energy level) All of a sudden the panels eyes are all on you, wondering what's going to happen next. Another way to think about this auditioning thing is to watch what a rugby team does before each match. I believe it's called a HAKA. Before the game starts the men get into a formation and they scream a chant of intimidation across the field to the other player. It is the most commited, animalistic, organic, real performance I've ever seen. (I posted the youtube link, if you want to watch a HAKA dance) So in the practice room, I was practicing my Romeo and Juliet stuff while letting everything go. I was like a stick free pan, letting go of everything that came out of my mouth. There is so much more to explore in my voice. I was like an animal in the room, jumping off walls. It was amazingly freeing. For the first time, I wasn't watching the window thinking, "I hope no one hears me!!"

In dance class we learned a little about the jive, which was another solid highlight of my day. Otherwise it was a another day of rehearsals. The B and B is going to be fantastic, and Romeo and Juliet is also going to be breathtaking!!!

Tomorrow is another extremely busy day, and then it's the Aria Extravagansa in the evening!

Sign out, Justin Friesen

Over and out!

W3D3 - Let Go...What is, is...Listen!

Morning inspiration...sometimes I wish I could have morning inspiration everyday day for the rest of my life! I need a little mini Kim with me all the time...the little person on your shoulder telling you what to do!! Today we talked about the way in which some performers/singers starve themselves of success. They do anything in there control to make sure they never succeed, because if they do, they will no longer be in control anymore. She read exerpts from a book which compared this sort of starving to that of a person with an eating disorder. I don't know if I quite understand this whole starving business when it comes to being a performer, but I understand being a control freak. I have to be in control of what I'm doing, otherwise everything will fall apart...WRONG!! The more you think about taking in and then letting go, the easier it is to deal with anything that comes your way. When you are working through something, take it in, and then let it go! As a singer, I am constantly trying to hold onto the top notes, or even the bottom ones, trying to make a full, big, controlled, vibrato'ed sound. Ironically, all these things happen when you let go. I have a big issue with letting go. Letting go means a potential chance for failure, becuase I don't know what is going to happen. It means that I have to open up and let my heart think instead of my brain. Or rather, letting my right brain think instead of my left. Why is it so hard to let go. Well I think it stems back to having to hide a secret my whole life about being gay. My sexuality, the thing that is a part of my very essense has been something I have learned how to manipulate to be something that it's not. And while my voice has been developing, I have used the same technique, because it's a habit. The way you do one thing, is the way you do everything! (Kim Mattice Wanat) It's incredible hard to break this way of thinking, even though I am not ashamed to be gay, and don't feel I have to hide anything anymore, the habits are still there. As an actor or a singer, when i'm onstage I'm used to performing with only certain parts of Justin. It's very complicated, but there is no way around it now. Being a performer requires everything, all of you, the whole shibang. and I live to perform. I live to communicate!! I am slowly getting out of the way of myself so I can let the real Justin Gerhard Klassen Friesen take the stage! He sneaks out every so often and when he does it feels amazing and effortless.

After morning inspiration I had an acting class with Kim in which we did some mirroring exercises while singing. It was a great way to sing, but have to be mirroring someone at the same time, so that you couldn't think as much about what your voice is technically doing. It was a brilliant exercise in letting go. During this I realized, with the help of Michael, that sometimes you think you are doing something, and you really aren't. Feeling something is very different than knowing that you are actually communicating what you think you are. Even when i read lines, I will think I have great intention and the line is going somewhere and then the Rob will stop me and say, stop being so sexual, your her Uncle. It's funny because in my head I'm not being sexual, I think i'm just getting into it. But it reads differently then I think it does. it's kinda confusing! You have to know your body so well that you can trust it.

In Alexander Tech. we worked on walking, and how when people turn, more times than none, they don't turn with there head, but rather with there shoulders. It doesn't really make sense why people don't just turn there heads, but most people don't! We hold a lot of tension in the neck, and part of that is because we don't exercise it. Another thought that resonated with me today was an idea that comes from cartoons. When a person leaves quickly, you see there trill behind them. They are already gone, but there outline, or blurred body is till left behind. We need to remember that the real world is sort of like that. We walk forward, but we leave a trail behind us. Again, it's this idea of really understanding what is going on around you. Singing is not in your head, it must be released. During my Lesson with Jackie we worked on this idea of letting go. When I sing a E, I normally want to push it out, but she challenged me to stop clenching my Larynx and just let it go..what is, is!! It was amazing because in my mind the sound was quieter, but when I asked them what it sounded like, they said there was no change in volume level. I think that the sound was no longer in my head, but out in the audience. What felt strange about this exercise is that it didn't feel like I was working. It was too easy, WHICH IS WHAT IT SHOULD BE!!

These last few days have been full of nudgets, exploration, and little steps forward. I can't wait to have another lesson with Jackie. I feel like I was on to something...don't know what it is...but it felt different, which is what I want.

Tomorrow is another day to explore, and have fun!

Passion
Attitude
Change
Extreme

Those words desrible perfectly what NUOVA is like, for!

Over and Out!

W3D2 - It's not always what you expect!

Well, I know have no idea what day of the week it is, ever. The first week I was still on track, and the second week I lost it a few days, but now, it's gone. Out the window, it could be Friday for all I know. The only reason I know it's Wednesday is because we had the German Lieder Song Soiree night, and those always happen on Wednesday. I guess I was confused today because it didn't feel lika normal Wednesday. It started off with a good sleep, and the sun shining outside my window. Then a great yoga session, followed by some wonderful Morning Inspiration from Kim. It was one of those days where I learned something new in every class. My brain feels like the knowledge is just oosing out, I don't even know what to start with, and some of it is getting all slimy and confusing.

During Morning Inspiration Kim talked about literally manifesting everything that goes on in your life. Everything is done for a reason. What's most important is getting the ego out of the way. When something happens to you, you just have to let it happen to you, and it will teach you something. Sometimes it's not about you, and it about teaching someone else something, but you just happened to be the person used to tell them. It sounds kind of strange, but in a way I think that is our free will. I believe in God, a creator, or something that created everything, but God gave us freewill. We can make our own choice. Sometimes the choices of other will affect us, and we need to learn to accept it and move through it. It was always teach you something.

Then I had an acting class with Kim, and we basically all discovered that acting is like lying. After that, we revamped the importance of practice. When we practice, what are we verbing? When you are doing anything, you should ask yourself what you are verbing/doing. Verbing helps to bring focus and attention to whatever you are working on in your practice session. It's as easy as remebering that "generality is the enemy of all art." -Stanaslofsky. When we practice we need to make sure we aren't just practicing singing, but also action with intension. There must always be intension, or why would you move. Singers often have a spot that My warmups have changed forever now!

In the afternoon I had a lesson with Jackie, and all I want to say is I love Jackie, and she helped me find something new today in my voice. (that is pretty much my goal, to find as many voices as I can). Today I sang with no tension in my neck. It was a very strange feeling. It's a strange feeling because it's not the same as the old one.

Beatrice and Benedict is coming soon, AHHH, one more week! Holy Moses:) Lots to do yet, but now it's just a done of polishing!

Well folks the sentenses are getting smaller, with more and more exlamation. It's time to hit the hay!

Over and out!

W3D1 - The Law of Attraction

I woke up today, intending to attend co ed yoga, but on my way to school I stopped to mail a letter, and the post office was closed. Even though the sign clearly said, Mon - Fri 7 am - 5 pm. And then when I got back into my car, I realized that I needed to by another parking pass for the month of June. So Yoga was out of the question. Which, in the end, was okay. But it is a great way of wake up the body!

Today in Morning Inspiration Kim talked about the secret to success in life. What's horrible is that I don't remember. Well, that's not entirely true, but I don't remember exactly how she put it. It was worded brilliantly. I wish I could record all those inspirational sessions with Kim, and be able to use them whenever I need a pep talk!!
She started with a story about a boy who was looking through these books, looking for the secret to a successful life.

The law of attraction...what does that mean. She went, using the analogy of a massive shop of tuning forks. Perfect for all us musicians. Basically the law of attraction implies that when you like someone, and you find someone that is vibrating on the same frequency, you will therefore begin to like each other. I will now try to explain this better with the tuning forks. \

Lets say you walk into a massive store of tuning forks. All different sizes and frequencies. Whatever frequency you are emitting is the ones you are going to attract. It's as simple as that. At a place like NUOVA, we are all on this crazy high frequency of self discovery, which is why it's incredibly easy to get to know everyone. But what's scary, and frightening is when we all head home at the end of the program, and we are no longer surrounded by people living on the same frequency. How do we keep the positive frequency. In Kim's experience, its takes practice and consitent self discovery. Take classes, keep finding new ways to uncover new things about yourself. We will never totally figure ourselves out, the journey is what makes life fun! So the secret to a successful life is finding those people that live on the same frequency as you, for those are the poeple with whom you will connect with and the same level. And maybe there are times you want someone on a different level, but in the end it's the people that are on the same level that will make life feel the most fulfilled because you share the same sense of success. Think about your partner, or best friends? Do they make you a positive or negative person? Do they make your inner artist (or right brain) cry? How are they contributing positively to your life? Chances are your best friend is someone who lives on the same wave length as you. They don't have to be exactly like, heavens no. That would be way to boring. But you were attracted to each other because you were on the same frequency, and that gives a relationship a sense of success!

In the morning we also had our first acting class with Michael Cavanagh. It was just an intro class, talking about our goals as a group and what the basic outline of the class will be. I personally want to keep developing how to be as natural as possible on stage. I find when I have music to hide behind, it's easier to fake emotion, but when it's straight acting, you got nothing but the words to support you (besides the actually stage). It all comes back to my goal during NUOVA, I want to accept my voice for what it is, and not be ashamed that it sounds a certain way. I am my voice, my voice is me, and will always be apart of me. If I want to be a performer, I'm going to have to accept it. And here at a place like NUOVA, I can. It's not like I have been using a fake voice all my life, it's more the idea that I was always filtering everything through my left brain, making sure it was manly enough, or sounded like I knew what I was talking about. I'm beginning to think more and more with my right brain, letting my instincts take over, and just riding the way. It makes rehearsals more fun, and it's way more exciting when you don't know what is going to happen next. Living in the now, while still being aware of the past and future, allows you to feel whatever you are feeling, and nothing else. It's rather hard to explain in words.

It's like when it's a really really hot day, and all you want is a popsicle, and then you get your popsicle, and all you can think about is how good the popsicle is. You are still aware of how much you wanted the popsicle before you got it, but now that you are licking the popsicle, all you can think about is the popsicle, and how good it tastes. You are also aware that the popsicle will not last forever, meaning you understand what is to come in the future. You are living in the moment, enjoying every piece of that popsicle. You aren't thinking about how to eat it, or what you look like when eating it (well maybe some of you do that) but rather you are using your right brain, allowing yourself to relish in this popsicle filled moment!

I am very excited for these acting classes. I'm so ready to dive in head first!

Then we had dance, which was quite fun. Everyone just lets loose, and we all just have a great time.

The afternoon was filled with rehearsals, which were fun, but I'm just realizing more and more, how it would just be that much more fun, if I had come more prepared. But I had to figure this out the hard way. You have to at least done all the left brain work. Once you get into rehearsal it needs to be 60% right brain, 40% left brain experience. And then in the last 2 weeks, it needs to be all right brain. Well maybe like 5% left. I'm kicking myself a little bit, but it's also forcing me to be quick on my feet, having to learn things quite quickly. What drives me the most insane is the language. When you don't know the language, it's like walking into a rehearsal blind. You are literally searching for straws that you don't even know exsist. Being prepared makes rehearsals more fun, because can then explore how you want to take it off the page.

I also found it hard to follow, and read my instincts today. (just something i noticed) Yet, on the other hand, in the Beatrice and Benedict dialogue rehearsal, there were moments when I was using my own voice. EXCITING!!

Can't wait for tomorrow, I have a lesson with Jackie!

This is Justin signing off,

OVER AND OUT!

What a day off should be...

Well folks, day off number 2, and what a good day it was. I got 10 hours of sleep last night. Imagine that, 10 hours. That is a definite record since being here at NUOVA. I'm going to do better at this sleeping thing this week.

Today a bunch of us NUOVAites went to the waterpark at West Edmonton Mall. It was brilliant. Really good way to take your mind off of everything and just play around and goof off for an afternoon. There were quite a few of us: Megan, Julia, Alfred, Erin, Michael, Adam, Ivan, Josh, Joey, Sonya, Tracey, JP, Kate, Alex, and me. A great group of us. I went down the really steep one, and it was kinda like a roller coaster, only 5 seconds long. I went on it approx. 10 times. SO much fun! Then after the waterpark, Kate Applin and caught a quick bite to eat, and went to the Scotia Bank Theatre and watched Sex and the City 2. Which was quite delightful. Just what I needed to see. Light, but still had a great story line, with meaningful comments about humanity. It was great, the perfect day off really.

I even did a little shopping...well...I bought a raincoat, which I do need, FYI (i don't actually own a raincoat) It was originally 160 dollars, and I got it for 50 dollars at Club Monaco. I'd say, a steal of a deal.

It's been the perfect day off, a day off for my brain!
Here we go week three!

Goal of the week: To let my artistic flashlight shine bright 100 percent of the time. My inner artist is going to be smiling all week!!!

Oh and here is a good quote. Monday's are my quote days!

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. Its not just in some of us; its in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As were liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

W2D6 - Funny things are happening!

Welcome to the end of the second week. Wow, it's incredible to think of all that has taken place in 2 weeks. Literally incredible (and yes Jess, I mean literally) Every day I'm constantly trying to open up my brain to stuff in more and more nuggets of gold.

Today was another busy day. Scheduling is something that can be tricky, to put it lightly, when you have 3 operas rehearsing at the same time. It's get even more tricky, when you have a few people who are in all three. It's been an interesting challenge trying to get to every rehearsal you have been called for. Between Romeo and Juliet, Beatrice and Benedict, voice lessons and classes, organizing 60 people is insane. Wilmarie, Kim's assistant does an amazing job of keeping it all straight. Part of me wants her job so bad. Assistant to Kim, it would be incredible, stressful, fun, tiring, challenging, exciting, and wonderful way to see a summer program from the inside out!

So today, we had a diction session with Nico Castel in the morning, and then it was off to Lunch Box Talk. Today we focused on the best way to learn a role, from the perspective of the faculty. There were a few different variations, but most people said roughly the same thing. Some focus on different stuff, but in the end they all had the same basic outline. Here we go:

How to learn a Role
1.buy the score, and mark in everything that your character does. Be as creative as you can, use colours and highlighters. (this kind of thing excites me. I love crafty stuff)
2. Take all your aria's and recits, and any chorus stuff that you have, and get a libretto version, or type it out yourself, and make a word for word translation of the text. It is beyond what words can express how important it is too know the word for word translation. (This is something I have only really discovered while at NUOVA. I knew it was important, but I didn't understand that it was the first step
3. Once the text feels good, add the rhythm of the notes while speaking the text. Do that until the rhythm is en stilled in your body.
4. Take the text away, and learn the melody on your favourite vowel. Just the melody and the rhythm.
5. Then put the words, meaning and melody all into one package.

Another incredibly important thing about learning a score is to know what everyone else is doing in the show. When it comes to character development, it's often everyone else that defines who you are suppose to be.

I will never learn a piece of music the same way, ever again! There is no such thing as generality in art. You can't just sort of know what you are singing about, you have to actually know.

Tonight we had a masterclass with Michael and Jackie. It was a great set of songs by everyone. I sang some French Melodie. It went pretty good. Adieu felt pretty good today. I've never been more aware of how bad my french is until today. Which seems harsh, but I seriously need to get my but in gear and learn the languages.
Yesterday and today I don't really now what's going on in my voice. Ever since my lesson with Jackie, dealing with breath, this have started to change. My voice has been tired for that last 2 days. The breathing stuff is opening me up a lot more, and that could be why my voice is so tried. It's hard to explain. I'm hoping that a day off tomorrow will really relax my voice and my body. I need a day to just process the week.

Kim ended our week tonight by encouraging us to really focus on listening for our 3rd week of rehearsals. Listen to all the things you say out loud and to yourself, about yourself. We may be nice to everyone around us, but are we nice to ourselves? Do we love my own body's? Kim brilliantly describe our self awareness like a child growing up. When we take our first step, use the potty, eat really food; these are all times when everyone around us celebrates even at the slightest improvement. The child wants to keep learning because when he trys something, his little success turns into large celebration. We need to be able to celebrate our success more regularly. (and that doesn't mean a party every other day) Also, part of the listening exercise means to be away of how often you say things that don't help you get to where you want to go. A good way to think is that if you wouldn't say the line to a child learning how to walk, then you shouldn't be saying it all all. As Kim said, "you're inbeast is back!

Well this is record how early this entire is at.

Over and Out!

W2D5 - Opening up

Once again, it's too late already. But it's habit for me to blog, I need too! I don't feel like I can go to bed until I do. It's like my chance to unload my brain, so that tomorrow I can take more in. Tomorrow is going to be a full day again, and then i sing in the masterclass series in the evening. I'm a little nervous for that, but as Carol said, "I'm just going to turn the corner and say yes." Be open, say yes. After my Alexandre Tech. episode, I have been trying to be really open to everything. Let myself feel exactly what I want to feel. Today in Alexandre Tech, Michaela said that she noticed a change in me, that I was walking taller and more confidently. And you know, I was feelin great in that class. It is amazing what someone says can do to your emotions and mood. After some observations, I notice that I am much more aware of my breath after my lesson with Jackie. I'm no longer breathing from my belly, but rather breathing into my lungs, which then widens the ribs, creating a nice open space for sound to resonate!
I have even noticed a change in my speaking voice. I get a buzzing feelin in my chest and head. It almost feels as though I'm finally using my whole vocal folds/chords. When I breath into my ribs, all of a sudden everything underneath me falls into place. I no longer feel like my abs are tensing up. My bum doesn't stick out, or go under, it's not tense either, it just sits there. My back opens up, and releases. Things are changing, and I think all the movement and opening up, is creating some vocal fatigue.

Today during our Beatrice and Benedict rehearsal we were going over dialogue, and I finally used my own voice. I was under no ones criteria, but my own. I was listening to what Rob had to say. I would say a line once, and then he would ask for it a little bit differently. I told myself, "just keep being open and say yes" and I could actually go to the place he wanted me to go to! It was scary, but felt amazing. It's this strange idea that when you finally get something right, you want to hold onto it, because you think it's going to fly away, or something. When in reality, that thing is you, and no one can take it away from you. It was always there, you just didn't know how to access it. And if you can access it once, you can access it again. It cannot be forced. Today I let go of the reigns, and let me right and left brain work together. I cannot wait to do more dialogue and to keep practicing my own voice. Rob is a fantastic director and just knows how to make you feel comfortable enough to just try everything. It is exactly what I needed in order to discover something that was already living inside me. Even when I just talk normally, I feel like I have a different voice. It resonates in my whole body. AHHHHH!!

It was a good day, after our R and J rehearsal, a friend named Michael S. helped me with my french diction, which needs some work. As an English speaker, my vowels are incredibly lazy, which does not work with French vowels. The more specific the better, when it comes to French. When you think you are using your lips, try again and really melt your lips around the vowels. A good exercise is to read your songs poetically, and only say the lipped vowels, seeing how much your lips change for each one. It's basically all muscle memory in your lips that allows you to speak really good French.

During creative process we were asked to imagine that Carol had a magical wand, and that she could grant us anything we wanted for one whole year. In other words, we were asked to plan out the dream year of our lives. No limits, at all. It was crazy. The lists were crazy, but at the same time, not all were impossible. She then asked us to look at our lists and circle the things that we have control over. There were obviously a lot of things we aren't in control of, but then you have to think of creative ways to work with those things that you don't control. Every ones dreams were very different, even in a group of people that are all striving to be performers. Everyone has different priorities, and the reason I love NUOVA, is because nothing is wrong. Your answers are never wrong, they may not be the best answers, but they are not wrong. According to Kim, "in order to get anywhere, you have to correct, and then continue, correct and then continue." We are all going to make mistakes over and over and over again, but we must remember that those things happen for a reason, and are always good life lessons. Making a correction and then continue on. If you want something, you have to be a courageous person. There are going to be a lot of people in life that tell you you can't do it, but they aren't you. You are you!!!

I'm learning more and more about following my instincts. Which again brings me back to the idea that the way you do one thing, is the way you do everything. So, every time I take too long making a decision, I walk away, and come back to the situation and go with my gut. I have to get used to following my instincts, because when the decision is a big one, you have to be able to trust your gut instinct!

Today I was tired, but felt good, and I can't wait to see what is in store for tomorrow. First I will be having a great sleep.

This is Justin Friesen, signing off!

Over and Out!!

W2D4 - Classic Broadway and Opera Composition

Day 4 of Week 2 and I still can't believe it's been less than 2 weeks. My life has been flipped unside down, and I don't even know how to feel anymore. My emotions change from moment to moment. After what happened in Alexandre Tech. yesterday, it's hard to know how to then take a step forward. I tend to over analyse everything. So my mind is constantly replaying yesterdays lesson. It was insane, but WHAT DO I DO NOW? When you have that kind of relization, it changes your entire life. I will never be the same, I can't. I never want to go back to that person that was trying so hard. The idea that I don't have to try seems to easy to me. You just have to be you, and that is enough. It doesn't make sense, there has got to me more too it. Now, that is not to say that you just have to be true to yourself and all of a sudden you are an actor! Performing is incredibly hard work. But it also blanket full of fun!

I'm really starting to notice that I'm not getting enought sleep. I'm still feeling great, but I notice that i'm slowly down a bit. Apparently week 3 is the most challenging. Basically because you are so tired, you are so raw, you finally let everything in or out!!

So today in creative process we made up operas based on stories that we all know. My group chose "Humpty Dumpty!" It was an amazing experience of using the left brain first and then totally using the right brain to peform our creations. They were so much fun.

Then i had a little talk through of Romeo and Juliet. I found out that I was not prepared for Gregorio. I will get it, that's part of what is happening after the blog entry. I can already tell our dirctor, Michale Cavonogue, is going to be fantastic to work with!

Tonight we also had our Broadway Classic's Concert, in which I sang the real version of "Brush Up your Shakespeare." The whole night was fantastic. My favourite set was the "Secret Garden." Adam and Lida, and Fredric were amazing.

Wow, I'm sorry guys, today is going to be short. I'm fading fast on this computer. One last thing, I had a masterclass with Christian Riel. She was trying to help me open up my upper range. I hope i get to work with her again soon.

Peace up all, it's time for a good sleep!

Over Oat!

W2D3 - Cry Fest

Well, if you read the title of this entry, you may be a little intrigued. I had quite the emotional roller coaster ride today. All the way from laughing my head off in Romeo and Juliet fight rehearsal, to rockin it out on the dance floor in dance class, to hyperventilating on the floor crying in Alexander Technique, to enjoying a fantastic lesson with Jackie (and Beth). It was one bizarre day!

I will start by saying that I was late today. I wasted a lot of time when I got up, and I have realized that I could, in fact, have made it on time, if I wouldn't have spent so much time making stupid decisions, that shouldn't take that long to make. I sit there and ponder, rather than trusting my instincts. I take the time to think because I want to be prepared, because I don't want to look like I don't know what I'm doing, because heaven forbid someone noticing I'm not perfect (note the sarcasm - and I literally have to type that because in retrospect, I would be serious about thinking I have to be perfect all the time) Looking back on my life, I realize I have spent a lot of time making sure everything is prepared, in order to stay in control of each situation. This task of making a decision comes up all the time. Down to the chocolate bar I choose at 7-11. These are all part of my habits. I want to know that I am making the right decision so that I don't regret it. I don't really see this as a bad thing, but I'm not really letting my instincts take over. As an actor you have to trust your instincts (also just as a human being, it's a good thing) When I over analyse every decision I make, I'm not letting my instincts kick in. We will always have an instinct reaction to everything that happens, and more times than none, we should follow them. Thinking isn't bad, because it's also important to make the best decision possible. I don't believe in doing something the wrong way. I believe we can train ourselves, sort of, to instinctively make the best decision possible. And maybe part of that is having a sense that every decision you make will help you grow, and in that, all decisions are helpful and teach you something about yourself.

Ironically, our Morning Inspiration today was all about being prepared, I didn't catch the whole thing, because I was late, but it was because I was preparing so long, that I was late. We all waste a lot of time thinking. Just do it!!!

I started with dance class this morning, and it was fantastic. We learned a little combo across the floor, and I am constantly impressed at how fast people pick up the choreo, and how much fun everyone is having. It's an amazing vibe, with such positivity floating around at all times. So I left dance feeling good, a little tired, but good. Little did I know what lay ahead in Alexander Technique with Candice.

Alexander Technique is a relaxation/body alignment theory that comes from Europe. It's all about living in the body that you were created in. Especially we all have perfect bodies, God created us that way, but we have tons of bad habits. Ways of doing things that clash with how our bodies are actually suppose to function. From the work we have done so far, 9 out of 10 people lean back when they are just standing in what they would call a normal position. Or they lean to one side. All these things cause tension in other areas of our body and it creates tension. The tension needs to be countered by something, so another part of your body, a lot of the times your bum, or ab muscles, compensate for the leaning back stance. It soon becomes normal for your abs so always be engaged, and working. What do you think that does to your stomach and internal organs? What does that do to your breathing? What does that do to you hips. I could go on and on about Alexander, but that would take a whole other blog. This gives you an idea of what it's all about. We are trying to find the real normal state/stance in which your body was meant to be in. Sort of Confusing, but it's a really amazing class.
Today she realignment me and what I felt like and what I looked like were two very completely different things. When she was done alignment (just standing up) I felt like I was bending over like a monkey, and then when I looked in the mirror beside me, I was standing up completely straight. Like we are talking the most straight and natural looking I've ever looked. It blew my mind. At first I was just overwhelmed and didn't know what to think. How is that possible. To feel like you are hunched over, and actually be standing straight up. But what had happened, is that I had gotten so used to standing in a leaning back stance. Basically, I felt like I had been robbed 15 years of my life of standing in a position that i thought was strong and manly, but actually was less masculine and more sloppy. When Candice aligned me, people were saying I looked more organic, and masculine. I have been overcompensating my masculinity since I was in junior high school. In the heat of the moment, I broke down. Literally sobbing and hyper ventilating, falling on the floor, surrendering to this feeling of shame and disappointment, and anger. "Why did I to that, why was I trying to be/talk/stand like somebody else?" If I would have only known that I could have stood like I did today for the past 12 years and felt comfortable. AHHHHHHH, it's not fair.
Those were the thoughts rushing through my brain and heart. That moment of surrender was the most raw I've ever felt in my life, but it was all me, and only me. I felt like me, and no one else. ME!!! JUSTIN GERHARD KLASSEN FRIESEN. It was amazing, terrifying, and hopeful all in one snap shot. I left the class feeling quite sad, but knew that I had a whole day ahead of me, so I pretty much had to keep going. For the rest of the day, I told myself to be open to everything. Which I will continue to make a goal for each day!!

After lunch I had a fantastic Broadway rehearsal for the Classic Broadway show we are putting on tomorrow night, and then I had a wonderful lesson with Jackie Short. I rediscovered my breath, and where it comes from. (and I'm not going to loose it) It's amazing how everything just kinda falls into place when you breath into your lungs (which really means your rib change expands) I can't wait for another lesson tomorrow:]

Last in the day, we had a fight rehearsal workshop with the cast of Romeo and Juliet. It was slow at the start, but then all of a sudden Josh, Andrew, Emma and I were laughing so hard about everything and it was a blast. What an amazing way to end off a crazy day.

It was nuts, but it was fun nuts! Nuts in a way that there was a step forward, and that is what really matters. I must get to bed, having tomorrow makes it an early morning. This is Justin signing off.

Over and Out!

W2D2 - Story Telling!!

Once again, i start this entry too late. But it has to be done, and this is how I learn from it. I'm noticing more and more how I just procrastinate doing things. I got home today at 11 o clock, but I didn't really start doing anything on the computer till 11:45. I washed some dishes, but otherwise was just thinking about what I should do, rather than just doing it. There is so much time wasted that way. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! And how's it's 12:30 and I'm just starting to blog. Ridiculous, at least i only have to leave the house at 8:00 tomorrow. 6 hours will be nice!

Today really felt like a Wednesday. It was definitely full, and tiring, but also it was a really fun day too. We had an awesome yoga class in the morning, then we had a dance class, which was all around awesome. Marie played the best music possible for a dance class. A little bit of Britney, some Jordan Sparks, and some Lady Gaga, some Latin tango stuff, and then even some Elvis Presley. It was so much fun.

The during Creative Precess we talked about story telling. In a story there are 5 major parts (sometimes 6)

1. Character Development
2. Conflict is presented
3. Character works with the conflict
4. Climax - When the person changes.
5. Resolution

In any story, you need to develop characters, and then present the conflict. You then see the characters interact with the conflict, and realize that something needs to change. It keeps building and building as the character(s) attempt to figure out the conflict. The climax come in when the "ah ha" moment takes place. The character(s) becomes a different person, or realizes what kind of person he really is.

it was a very powerful class and what struck me the most is how important understanding your operas plot points, and then being able to discuss how you character fits into the big picture. You need to know where you place is, to know what your motivation is. Each line and thought has to be motivated by someone else, or something else. This led to Carol talking about Queing. We each took 2 pieces of paper, one tha said a phrase, and another that said a "state of being"

Ex - Phrase, "Cereal, are you serious, you are absolutely ridiculous, that is not going to work." This phrase must then be spoken in the state of "inspired." It's crazy, but it really shows you how you need to make a story up in your head about what que's your line. You have to know your que line, and the more specific, and full of layers, the better. Each Character has a back story, what is it? These are all great ways to get to know your character that much better, which could allow you the freedom to just "BE" on stage, and not always feel like you have to present something. Presenting looks contrived, and fake. When you know your story and plot points, you know where the play is headed, but you also can react to everything around you onstage.

Even in the morning Inspiration we had today. It was all about living in the present. We often spend so much of our time it the past and future, but what about that is right now. Isn't that more important, within reason. We all have a billion things going on in our heads, but we need to practice living in today. A really good way to do that is to do an exercise called "verbing." when you verb, you are asking yourself what are you doing right now. Ex - running, conversing, arguing. It really makes you focus your energy in the present moment.

I want to apply this to my schedule, and rehearsal, and practice time. So I bought some sticky notes, and every time i go into the practice room, or a rehearsal, I have to have a goal written down. Something achievable!! but don't sell yourself short:) Practicing, even though it is your Left Brain, should be fun! Enough with the old way, find new ways. It's just like the cue's. There are many ways to played "inspired." In the same way, it is good to have thought of different ways your character could react. The director may not like your first take on the line. So then you bring more options to the table. There is no wrong choice, but there is a difference between a choice and the best choice. You want to learn how to always choose the best choice, or, in this case, the best cue's.

Lots to think about. Today during lunch I realized that I don't care how much work has to be done, it will get done. Even after all these feelings of not being prepared, and feeling like I'm going to suck, I still want to be in this profession. We all need to stop thinking that we suck. Who's criteria are we living by. Our new phrase as NUOVAites, is "I'm not ashamed." -Michael Shannon and Jennifter Szeto. Basically everthing you can better, something might go wrong, you just say your not ashamed. It's kind of hilarious, and something that will stick around for a while.

well folks, I'm fading. Off to bed we go

Over and Out!!

W2D1 - What is FEAR?

It's funny how you get into such a routine of waking up early, and then all of a sudden you are aloud to sleep in for a day, and your body feels a little waked out. Yesterday I sort of slept in, and then today, it's not like it was really hard to get up, but my routine was gone. Back to square one, well not really square one, more like 1.2. Last week Tuesday, I think, I woke up and decided today was the day I wasn't going to use the snooze button anymore, and since that day, my body has woken itself up. I set my alarm for 6 o clock, and I wake up at 5:55, no problem. My internal clock is alive and well, who knew!!! Even today, I woke up before my alarm went off. I was definitely tempted to use my snooze button, but it was much easier this time to say no, and just get up! Before I go to bed, I decided that I will not hit snooze, and then I somehow wake myself up!

The day started off with a Mini Master class with Kim Barber and Laura Loewen. Both fantastic artists. There were 4 buys in the class, all baritones, and all with very different voices. Alfred did a Schubert Lieder first, and then Ed followed by an aria from Romeo and Juliet, then it was my turn. I was going to do some lieder as well, but then realized that I really want to work on my french. I'm singing all my opera roles in french, and I love the language, but don't feel that comfortable singing in it. So I pulled out Roncontre by Faure from a set called Poem du jour! Lovely little collection. I hadn't really warmed up yet, and there are some higher parts to the piece, so I was kinda nervous, but I just say, what the hell, just go for it. (it's one of our new phrases at NUOVA, [from Carol Castel] when you are in a pickle, or something just isn't going right, or you are afraid, just say 'what the hell,' and try it, see what happens) I sang the piece and it went way better then I thought, and then Kim made a few suggestions about how to sing french music. It's all about the vowels, something I've been told before. But never realized how much more fun french music is, when you are really focusing on the vowels, and letting the vowels resonate. French people speak with everything in their lips and at the edge of there mouths. They drink the vowels in and let them slash around in there mouths. It's delicious music to sing, especially Faure!! I can't wait to work with Laura and Kim again!

Next, I moved on over to the Timms centre for Creative Process with Carol. You never quite know what that class is going to be like until you get there. Today was all about fear. Last week we all wrote down what was stopping us from getting what we want, as a performer, and a lot of people have fears of what others think about them. We live and perform in this criteria that doesn't actually exist. We assume what someone else is thinking, but in reality we don't actually know at all what they are thinking. So many of us become obsessed with doing something the right way. THE IS NO RIGHT WAY, there are better ways, and better choices, but nothing is the right, or wrong way. Fear is created by these expectations to not live up to the criteria that we think other people are creating. Carol asked us what our fears were, and then we applied it to our practice and rehearsal time. I said that when I go into a rehearsal, all i want to do it 'be awesome.' I know, a little ridiculous, but when it comes down to it, I don't want to suck. Oh my goodness, what back up way of thinking. Justin, come on! Left brain is doing way to much thinking. Forget about what anyone else thinking, but most of the time, they aren't judging. They are probably watching, but they aren't judging you. And if you are confident, and know yourself well enough, you can do anything, and everyone will believe you. We give so much power away when we live by other peoples criteria. Power is an energy between people, it doesn't come from authority, or hierarchy. You control how much power you have! That energy and power needs to be used on stage. We played a game where we threw "the ball of life" around the circle (imagine an imaginary ball that changes colours and sizes and is really cool). We all observed how the ball was tossed and then how it was caught. The energy is passed one way, and you if you don't catch it in a similar fashion, the energy changes. You kinda want to caught the ball of life in the same energy it was thrown in. However, once you have the ball of life, you can throw it to something else in a different way. Just like on stage, you have to be listening to those around you and when someone says a line, or action to you, you take the energy, and then throw it to someone else, not necessarily in the same energy. The idea is that we all react differently, and aren't going to use the exact same energy. We must take the energy and then make it our own. And to make it your own, you must know yourself. Sounds easy, but knowing yourself is harder than it seems, or is it? It's one of those easy but really simple things about life.

Moving on to the afternoon, I had a great session with Rosemary Thompson, conductor for Romeo and Juliet, as well as Nico Castel, for my character of Gregorio in Romeo and Juliet. We sang through all my recits, and Rosemary said they had improved since the end of last week. So at least I'm on the right track. French is still hard to wrap my mouth around, but it just takes time for your mouth muscles to learn the shapes of the vowels. Nico and Rosemary are so much fun to work with. You CAN'T NOT have fun with them:)

Then I had a little exploritor lesson with Cam Mcphail. (side note: blog readers, watch out for this boy. He is going to take the opera world by storm. He has a brilliant voice, that is just itching to to a masters, and also sing professionally. I believe he is going to Yale for his masters this coming year. Seriously, I'm tellin you, keep your eyes peeled. He is a great guy with a grounding head on this shoulders. Genuine person, who loves to sing and loves to help others explore their voices)

So him and I took to the practice studio. He somehow got me to sing with my real voice. For those that that doesn't make sense, I basically don't use my full voice, because I don't really know how. It's a combination of being too tight in ab muscles, and also have a really tight jaw, which restricts the way I speak. Somehow Cam managed to relax my abs and open my mouth properly, and for 4 seconds, I was singing with my full 360 voice. It was resonating throughout my entire body, and the right and vibrato was organic. It felt effortless, and didn't even know what to do, because I wasn't doing anything. It was just ringing. Now that lasted about 4 seconds, but it felt like years. Then we attempted to find it again, and it was gone. So it was great, we are taking small steps, but what the hell, we are moving forward and that is what this program is all about for me. "I AM HERE TO FIND MY VOICE AND ACCEPT IT THE WAY IT IS!! and that excites me. I want my own voice, that isn't like anyone Else's. A voice is like a finger print. I look forward to more exploration sessions/lessons with Cam. It was a ton of fun.

The even was quite long, consisting of blocking our trio from Beatrice and Benedict. It was really slow moving, so it was hard to keep the energy level up. It was still fun because we got to sword fight. Another reason to come see the show.

Lastly, before I hit the hay, I am going to start a new thing I picked up from Kim Mattice Wanat. This is a way to be organized when you have way to many things on your mind, and too makes things to get done. Sticky notes!!!! 90 percent of the battle, when you are trying to get something done, is getting started. I am often too overwhelmed with everything that i don't know where to start. So my new goal is to write things on sticky notes when they are important. Then whenever I have a spare moment, I will just look at my sticky notes and pick something and just do it. It all needs to get done at some point, so I mind as well just pick one and got for it. I also want to use this in the practice room. Practice with purpose. Go in with a goal in mind. Don't just got practice and say, I want to be here for 2 hours. It's just like book work (dad this is for you) you can't just go in a say, okay I'm going to do this for 4 hours, and see how far I get. NO NO NO, you need to go in with a specific goal in mind. Make manageable goals. It seems silly, but your time spend working will be much more productive.

To me, these are just small things that can help keep life less stressful. We have enough stress. They are hard to get into the habit of doing, but I think they are positive ways to structure your life. I'm game to try it, and see what happens. These 6 weeks are all about being uncomfortable, and trying anything and everything. If you don't try, there is no chance for success or failure, and that would just be boring. Challenge yourself and try whatever it is that you are afraid of.

Well, it's once again too late. But I hoping the Matte I got from my dear cousins Justin and Devo will help with the energy levels tomorrow. Getting up early for yoga, it's gonna be great. Until tomorrow, cheers!

Over and Out!!